Being a Boy Mom
When I first found out I was going to be a mom, it was scary. How in the world was I going to take care of another human being?!
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I remember bringing my first born home and then going through the spiraling of post partum (which now I know I was way depressed and needed help). I remember my hair falling out and telling noone. I'm dying. I'm leaving this child orphan, I thought. Little did I know this was part of the process of "returning" to normal.
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After every birth, I was more of an expert of what worked, what didn't, and the things I could just buy for the cuteness. I love my boys so much, but, man, it's such a big responsibility! As they move into each new part of their growth, I am even more aware of the skills needing to be taught. I am building future providers, leaders, and head of households. It's a big task! Now, especially, as a single mom, it's become more apparent that I do not have all of the skills I need to teach them, by example.
God has given me reassurance time and time again that He will provide, not only in the provision that we see as money, home, food, but also spiritual and attributes that will make them into the men that He needs in the future. Will they make mistakes? You bet. But I hold on to the promise that if I continue to instruct them in His Word and stay loyal in prayer, He will do His will in them. With each boy, as I would sit and rub on my belly as they kicked around inside, I would talk to God about them. I would dedicate their life to Him and tell God that if He was giving me the opportunity to raise him, I would, in turn, dedicate him to His glory. I mean, Hannah did that in the Bible. She was barren, yet she prayed and prayed and when God gave her Samuel, she dedicated his life to God.
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I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.1 Samuel 1:27-28 (NIV)
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Why would Hannah dedicate a child she yearned for so much? Why would she give him over to the temple? I don't know what she was thinking exactly, but I have an idea. I think it was because she knew that if God could answer such an impossible prayer with a dead womb, what more could He do with a beautiful boy that was alive? What great faith!
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So as I see her life, and many other women of the Bible, I see myself. Where else could we dedicate our children? The world? The streets? Culture? Those things pass and lead to death spiritually and physically. But God. Dedicating your children to God brings eternal life, spiritual profit, and an abundance of joy knowing that even if you are no longer here, He has got them in His hands.
To my boys,
Mom loves you so much. She prays for you as God leads you to becoming the men He needs for the future. Be loving, kind, and persevere. Love people. Remember that our mouth cannot bless God and curse others. Love each other. You are strong on your own but you are stronger together. May God continue to guide you in your education, career, and future. May your light shine bright for Jesus. May you show His love, mercy, and kindness by your actions, not just your words. Remember the talents and gifts you have are valuable and essential to the church. You do not know if that one person has decided this will be the last chance, you may be part of someone's new beginning. Stay strong regardless of words or actions. Remember, it is not the people but the enemy that wants to get rid of you. He knows you are a weapon against his plotting and plans. Love and pray for your future wife. Remember to love her as a child of God. Protect her, provide for her, but, most importantly, pray for her. She has her own struggles, yet she is stronger than she thinks. Sometimes, she might need your reminder. Hug her. Tell her you love her. Buy her flowers. And teach your children, my grandkids, to love God with all of their hearts. They deserve to know the greatest treasure there is: Jesus. I love you. I'm proud of you. You have given me the biggest joy.
I love being your mom.
It is never a good-bye. It is always a see-you-later. We will see each other in the greatest Heaven party. This party I didn't have to plan or cook for (or buy family packs).
In this party, we are the guests.
Bet.
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With love,
Mom
How can I teach them to be kind when they've seen relationships that are not kind? How can I teach them to be providers when I've had to provide as a woman (many times more than expected)? How can I teach them to love their future wife, be loyal, persevere, and honor God when they haven't seen it firsthand? So there are many things I have had to give to God. After all, He is the Father to the fatherless.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. Psalm 68:5-6
"Becoming a boy mom made me view my partner different. It definitely made me feel more responsible for what my son's future wife would have to deal with."
Girl that Pivots